Assertiveness Bill of Rights: Basic Rights That Give You Permission to Speak Up
The Assertiveness Bill of Rights is a free printable guide to expressing needs, saying no, and setting limits respectfully. Use it to prepare for conversations that feel difficult.
Your basic assertive rights
- You have the right to express your feelings, opinions, and needs.
- You have the right to say no without feeling guilty.
- You have the right to ask for what you want, knowing the other person can also say no.
- You have the right to change your mind.
- You have the right to make mistakes and not be perfect.
- You have the right to say I don't know or I don't understand.
- You have the right to be treated with respect.
- You have the right to put yourself first sometimes.
- You have the right to your own feelings, even if others disagree with them.
- You have the right not to justify or explain every choice you make.
- You have the right to ask for time to think before responding.
- You have the right to set your own priorities.
The right vs. the belief it corrects
The right
I can say no without guilt.
The belief it corrects
Saying no is selfish, and I have to keep everyone happy.
Another pair
The right
I can change my mind.
The belief it corrects
If I change my mind, I'm unreliable and no one will trust me.
How to use this
Notice which rights are hardest to accept. Those are the beliefs holding your assertiveness back. Pick one right this week and act on it once, even in a small way. Rights become real through use, not agreement.
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About this tool
The Assertiveness Bill of Rights is a list of personal permissions for speaking up while respecting other people. It helps you examine the beliefs that make saying no, asking for help, or changing your mind feel wrong. Behind every assertiveness skill sits a quieter question: do I even have the right to speak up. For many people the honest answer, learned early, is no, or only if it does not bother anyone. The Assertiveness Bill of Rights, popularized in assertiveness training by Manuel Smith and built on by Alberti and Emmons, makes those rights explicit. It is not a license to be selfish. It is a correction to the mistaken beliefs that keep people silent, over-apologetic, and resentful.
Each right has a flip side: a common assumption that quietly overrides it. The right to say no without guilt corrects the belief that saying no makes you selfish or unkind. The right to change your mind corrects the belief that you must always be consistent to be taken seriously. Seeing the right and the mistaken belief side by side is what makes this more than a feel-good list. It targets the exact thoughts that block assertive behavior.
Reading these rights is not the same as believing them, and that is fine. The ones that feel uncomfortable or even wrong are the most useful, because they show you where your own permission is missing. Returning to the list, and acting on one right at a time, is how the belief gradually shifts from theory into something you actually live by.
Assertiveness training itself predates Smith's book. Behavior therapists including Joseph Wolpe described techniques for reducing social inhibition and expressing feelings and opinions directly as early as the 1950s, and Smith's contribution was translating that clinical work into a plain-language set of personal rights that people could use without a therapist. That history matters: these rights are grounded in decades of behavior therapy, not a one-off self-help idea.
These rights tend to help most if you recognize yourself as someone who over-apologizes, avoids conflict, or feels guilty setting limits, a pattern often described as people-pleasing. They are not a fix for relationships involving control, intimidation, or abuse, where asserting a right can raise real safety concerns rather than resolve a misunderstanding. If asserting yourself consistently brings conflict, punishment, or fear, or if the guilt does not ease with practice, a licensed therapist can help you work through it; Psychology.com's therapist directory is a place to start.
Turn a right into a sentence you could actually use. For example, the right to ask for time might become: I need to check my workload before I agree. After the conversation, note what you said, how the other person responded, and whether you respected both people. Their agreement is not the only measure of a useful attempt. These are personal communication principles, rather than legal guarantees or permission to disregard commitments.
The Centre for Clinical Interventions teaches assertiveness through recognizing communication styles, examining unhelpful thinking, and practicing specific skills. Its Assert Yourself! workbook supports combining reflection with rehearsal; it does not establish that reading this particular list produces a clinical outcome. Use the Assertive Communication Worksheet to draft your words, or the DESC Assertiveness Script to organize a difficult request. The CBT Worksheets hub offers related exercises for examining beliefs. The People-Pleasing Test is a self-assessment that can prompt reflection, rather than diagnose the reason you struggle to speak up.
The right to change your mind can coexist with taking responsibility for a commitment. For example: "I agreed to help with the event, but I cannot stay for the cleanup. I can let the organizer know now so they can arrange coverage." Use the printable to separate the permission to state a limit from the practical work of communicating its consequences. If you made a mistake, you can acknowledge it and discuss a repair without agreeing to every future request. Consider the other person's needs alongside your available time and energy.
I've found that for many clients, especially those with a history of trauma, giving yourself permission to speak up and be assertive can be really hard. However, learning that you have the right to express your needs, set limits, and make your own choices can be an important part of moving forward and taking care of yourself. Looking at the assumptions you have around the Assertiveness Bill of Rights can be a helpful first step toward challenging them. Learning to give yourself these rights can take time, but I've found it can make a meaningful difference in your mental health and everyday life.
References
- Smith MJ. When I Say No, I Feel Guilty. Bantam Books; 1975.
- Alberti R, Emmons M. Your Perfect Right: Assertiveness and Equality in Your Life and Relationships. 10th ed. Impact Publishers; 2017.
- Wolpe J. Psychotherapy by Reciprocal Inhibition. Stanford University Press; 1958.
- Centre for Clinical Interventions. Assert Yourself! Government of Western Australia. https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/en/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself/Assertiveness
Cite this source
Psychology.com. (2026, September 16). Assertiveness Bill of Rights. Psychology.com. https://psychology.com/tools/assertiveness-rights
Assertiveness Bill of Rights FAQ
What is an Assertiveness Bill of Rights?
A list of basic personal rights, like the right to say no without guilt or to change your mind, that underpin healthy assertiveness. It corrects the mistaken beliefs that keep people silent and resentful. These are communication principles for everyday situations. You can use the list to identify an uncomfortable belief and prepare a respectful response before a conversation.
Is asserting these rights selfish?
No. The rights are not a license to ignore others. They simply give you the same permission you would freely grant a friend: to have needs, set limits, and be treated with respect. Respect also includes acknowledging commitments, discussing consequences, and accepting that someone may decline your request. A boundary describes what you can do or accept; it does not control another person.
Why do some of these rights feel wrong?
The ones that feel uncomfortable usually reveal a belief learned early, such as needing to keep everyone happy. Those are the most useful to revisit, because they show where your own permission is missing. Discomfort can be a starting point for reflection. Ask whether you would hold a friend to the same rule, and choose a safe situation for practicing a more balanced response.
Is there a printable Assertiveness Bill of Rights PDF?
Yes. This page includes a free, printable Assertiveness Bill of Rights PDF listing the basic personal rights behind healthy assertiveness. Download it, keep it somewhere visible, and revisit it when you notice yourself over-apologizing or staying quiet. You can also write a short example beside a right that feels difficult. Bring the sheet to a conversation with a therapist if you want help applying it.
What is the difference between being assertive and being aggressive?
Assertiveness means expressing your own needs and feelings while still respecting the other person's rights. Aggression disregards the other person's rights to get your way. The Assertiveness Bill of Rights applies equally to everyone, which is what keeps assertiveness from tipping into aggression. For example, you can decline an extra task respectfully without insulting the person asking. Being clear does not require making the other person agree or preventing all disappointment.
How can I respond to criticism assertively?
Ask for a specific example before deciding how to respond. You can acknowledge a fair point, ask for time to think, or disagree respectfully. For example: "I missed that deadline, and I will explain what happened. I would like us to discuss it without insults." The Centre for Clinical Interventions includes handling criticism in its assertiveness workbook. Choose a response that fits your safety and the situation.