Coping Skills Library: Find the Right Skill for Anxiety, Anger, Sadness, or Overwhelm

For anxiety and panic

• Slow your breathing, with a longer out-breath than in-breath.
• Use the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique to anchor in the present.
• Splash cold water on your face or hold an ice cube to reset the nervous system.
• Name the feeling out loud: 'this is anxiety, it will pass.'
• Go for a brisk walk to burn off the adrenaline.
• Limit caffeine and check whether you are hungry, tired, or dehydrated.
• Write down the worry, then ask what is in your control right now.
• Listen to calming or familiar music.

For anger and frustration

• Step away from the situation before you react. Buy yourself time.
• Discharge the energy physically: walk fast, run, do push-ups, punch a pillow.
• Breathe out slowly and count to ten (or higher) before responding.
• Cool down literally: cold water on your wrists or face.
• Write an unsent letter saying everything you feel, then put it away.
• Ask yourself what need or hurt is underneath the anger.
• Use 'I' statements when you are calm enough to talk it through.
• Squeeze and release a stress ball, or do progressive muscle relaxation.

For sadness and low mood

• Do one small, gentle activity even if you do not feel like it (a shower, a short walk).
• Reach out to one person, even just a text.
• Get outside for daylight and fresh air.
• Be kind to yourself the way you would to a struggling friend.
• Let yourself cry if you need to. It is a release, not a weakness.
• Do something that once brought you small pleasure or meaning.
• Keep a basic routine: eat, sleep, move, even in small ways.
• Write down three things, however tiny, that are okay right now.

For overwhelm and stress

• Brain-dump everything on your mind onto paper to get it out of your head.
• Pick the single next small step, and only that.
• Break a big task into smaller, concrete pieces.
• Take a real break: step outside, stretch, or rest for a few minutes.
• Say no, or ask for help, instead of taking on more.
• Tidy one small area to create a sense of order and control.
• Set a timer for 10 minutes and start, just to break the freeze.
• Use a body scan or slow breathing to settle before you decide anything.

Skills that help with any hard feeling

• Move your body in any way that feels right.
• Connect with a person, a pet, or your community.
• Use the five senses to self-soothe.
• Spend time in nature.
• Journal or write freely about how you feel.
• Do something creative: draw, cook, play music, build something.
• Practice self-compassion instead of self-criticism.
• Get enough sleep, food, water, and movement, the foundation under everything else.

Make it yours

No list works for everyone. Try several skills across different feelings, notice which actually help you, and write your own short go-to list. Keep it somewhere visible, on your phone or fridge, so it is easy to reach for when a hard moment hits and your mind goes blank. Save the coping skills PDF before you need it, so a few options already feel familiar. To match specific coping skills to specific stressors, try our stress management worksheets. If the hard moment you are preparing for is a bereavement, our grief worksheets sit alongside this library as a quieter place to write. If the feeling that keeps derailing you is intense and fast, the DBT tools library covers crisis skills like TIPP and ACCEPTS in more depth.